Episode 23.0 - texas death rally
Episode Credits:
Episode 23.0 - Texas Death Rally: We step away and take a small vacation to 'The Warzone' and meet Siouxsie Six along with other big names in the yearly extravaganza known throughout the Wild Wasteland as the Texas Death Rally! Pick your favorite racer and join a camp because the Death Rally is always one hell of a trip!
While you're in the wasteland, follow us on Twitter for news and updates! Better yet, if you're on Bluesky you can find us there! Join us in hitchhiking on the Red Fathom discord to hang out with cast and crew! Want to support the show? Please check out our Patreon to find our new Red Fathom Entertainment subscription model that gives you access to EVERYTHING we make!
Hannahpocalypse is intended for mature audiences on account of mature language, theme and violence and horror elements. Please be advised.
Episode Credits:
Amanda Hufford as Hannah
Abigail Turner as Cali
Jordan Rudolph as Mel
Will Handford as Jameson, Bogart, Ol' Blind Pete, Hank
Tom Schalk as Rictor, Charles
Ryan Hoyle as Reggie
Yenni Ann as Ashley & Black Betty
James Holyoake as Billy
Leslie Gideon as Morgan
Ginger Sue as Siouxsie Six
Luke Alphonso as Dixon
Writing and Sound Design by Damian Szydlo
Sensitivity and Script Reading by Mak Shepard (where required)
Special thanks to Velvet Moon & Argle Bargle Studios for providing music for Hannahpocalypse! Listen to Velvet Moon on Spotify and find Argle Bargle Studios on Instagram.
Intro Song: A Florentine Story by Michele Nobler & Luis Berra
Outro Song: If it Matters (Instrumental) by Velvet Moon
Special Thanks to Russ More & Beth Crane for assorted zombie sounds!
TRANSCRIPT
[FADE IN]
[SCENE SETUP: The thrum of hovercraft engines mixes with the faint hum of conversation. The atmosphere is a mix of anticipation and tension. Laughter, shouting, and the sounds of machinery punctuate the air. A festival in the midst of chaos.]
SIOUXSIE SIX (Internal Monologue)
“Friday the Thirteenth means a lot of things to a lot of people. Heard folk used to think it was bad luck, in the old world. Others used it as an excuse to celebrate. A game of chicken with the devil, maybe. Whatever it was back then it don’t matter one bit, these days. Here on the circuit we’ve staked a claim on this ‘most auspicious’ of days.
It’s fitting. We’ve always tried to make the best of a bad situation, so it makes some kind of sense, don’t it? You’d know it too, if you were at all familiar with this little slice of badland heaven. Cause ‘round these parts, that being the ‘Warzone’… things get real lively on the first F-13 of the year. Today. ‘Cause it’s time for the goddamned Death Race Home Open! Fuck yeah! It’s one hell of a rowdy convocation to be sure. A weekend of debauchery for the motley-ist crew of wasteland warriors you ever did see. The Holy Land for spinner racers, engine jockeys, octane junkies and well... the sort of good ol' Texas spirit that makes the Warzone the most dangerous place in the wasteland. Here we stand, ready to tear through the notorious Houston Killzone just for kicks. 48 miles of twisting, turning mayhem. A devilish test of skill and tenacity. A symbolic testament to humanity and its will to defy any claim these tin cans have over our land. That, or maybe it’s just as good an excuse as any to get stone-cold drunk. You be the judge.”
[Footsteps on gravel. A male voice snickers.]
DIXON, RIVAL RACER
“Well, well, if it ain’t Siouxsie Six! Still trying to fly that old relic of yours? What do you call ‘er again? The Banshee? Or is it new season, new spinner? Ya know, if you need an upgrade, the tribe might be able to hook you up. As long as you ask. Real nice-like..”
SIOUXSIE SIX
“Hey, Dixon! Good to see ya, buddy! [leans against a flag pole] Still compensating with that oversized spinner? Big generator sticking out the hood for no good reason? The Brickhouse, right? All that power and no place to pump it. Might as well call it the Blue Baller. Remember, champ. It’s how you race, not the size of your ride.”
[Dixon scoffs, trying to think of a comeback but Siouxsie just chuckles.]
DIXON
“Just… just make sure you don’t end up as smear on the road. Yeah, that’s right. Nothing more than a road smear, ya hear? A God-damned inconvenience! Don’t want to ruin the vibe of my winning streak with havin’ to come up with an on-the-spot eulogy for the biggest mouthpiece on the circuit.”
SIOUXSIE SIX
“Such a gentleman you are, Dix! Worrying about me so. But hey, good luck out there, you know? Seriously. Hope that big ‘ol spinner of yours can keep up with my silly lil’ relic. Would be a damn shame to hear you had a… premature ending. Art imitating life and all? Toodle-oo, cowboy.”
[Footsteps continue, Siouxsie’s boots hitting the gravelly floor. Laughter, music, and the clinking of metal parts fill the air. The pit-stop area is a blend of tension and celebration.]
SIOUXSIE SIX (Internal Monologue)
“Tribes and their colors, emblems of hope and defiance, all in this wild mish-mash of an underworld carni-festival. Beneath it all, on the flip-side of the taunts, the rivalry, the adrenaline, there’s a camaraderie. An unspoken understanding of sorts. See, we might race against each other, but we also race against time, against the damn robots, against death itself. Might seem a little wasteful, these races. Dangerous, irresponsible… but we need ‘em. Need something to look forward to. To drink to. Something to fight for.”
HENRY (HANK)
“Sioux! There you are. Get sidetracked?”
SIOUXSIE SIX
“Oh, just some friendly banter with Dixon. You know how it is. Small dick energy. Typical Stockton Tribe bullshit.”
HENRY (HANK)
“Charming as ever, I assume?”
SIOUXSIE SIX
“Like a snake in a sunhat.”
[Hank laughs, then the mood shifts to a more serious tone.]
HENRY (HANK)
“Alright, real talk Sioux. Got the drone up and ready for the occasion. Think I figured out that little kink in the decoy tech… along with that reoccuring sensor issue that got her lost last time. We’ll have eyes on you from above, as well as the other racers. Any sign of a Redtail, or any other nasty surprises for that matter, and we'll give you all a heads up. Can’t be too careful. No idea what the other teams can and can’t see, afterall.”
SIOUXSIE SIX
“Appreciate that, Hank.”
HENRY (HANK)
“You’re still… You got your baggage on lockdown for this, right? Good to go?”
SIOUXSIE SIX
“Yeah. Did a lot of thinking about it. After what happened to Eddie. Listen, no matter how this goes down, you know I love this, right? The race, the rush, the tribe... All of it. I can still win… and even if I can’t do that, I can sure as hell make a difference out there when it comes down to it.”
HENRY (HANK)
“Ain’t saying you can’t. Consider me checking in on you just… courtesy maintenance, is all. I believe in you kid. Stay safe out there. And bring the Banshee home in one piece, would ya?”
SIOUXSIE SIX
“One piece, two pieces, whatever it takes big guy. We'll make it back, grinding across that finish line if I gotta.”
HENRY (HANK)
“That’s what I’m afraid of. Also don’t ‘big guy’ me, Siouxsie Six. Watch your sass, girl.”
SIOUXSIE SIX
[Getting seated into the the Banshee before the cockpit closes up]
“You got it, old man. Just get my beer ready, okay? Be back in two shakes of a cat's ass.”
[Sound of the Banshee's engines grow louder, purring in readiness.]
SIOUXSIE SIX (Internal Monologue)
“Strapping in to her is the sweetest damn thing I ever had the pleasure of enjoying. Feel that? The rumble of the engines, the heartbeat of the wasteland. Time to ride! The scream of this spinner catching on the wind just right. All bets on the Banshee are getting cashed today. Hold onto your hats, it’s time for the Death Race.”
[The air is electric with the roar of spinner engines. The metallic hum and the rush of wind combine with the shouting of spectators. Dirt and debris fly as the spinners kick off after a countdown. This is the Death Rally, and it's in full swing.]
[The roar of The Banshee's engines, the pulsing heart of the spinner, becomes even louder.]
DIXON (Over Radio)
“Trying to keep up, Siouxsie? Ain't that sweet.”
SIOUXSIE SIX (Grinning)
“Nah, just figuring out my logistics. Gotta find the perfect vantage so I can watch you make a meal outta my dust.”
HENRY (HANK) (Over Radio)
“Easy, you two. [changes to private channels] Alright, Sioux, there’s a pile-up ahead. Looks like Jackson’s spinner went and got itself spun, took a whole damn building down on top of it. Change course. Head west through the alleyway.”
SIOUXSIE SIX
“Copy that, Hank.”
DIXON (Over Radio)
“Hey… where you goin’? Sioux, you’re going the wrong way! Oh… Oh, shit! Come on! Brake, you tub of bolts!”
[Sound of debris crashing and the distant cheers of spectators. The Banshee swerves sharply.]
SIOUXSIE SIX
“That was close. Looks like I’m not alone on this detour. Is that the Spiderbite I see? That you, Black Betty?”
BLACK BETTY (Over Radio)
“The same. Papa Hank know you’re goin’ off the beaten path? Ohhh, scary kid stuff! Hope you know what you're doing.”
SIOUXSIE SIX (Laughing)
“Always, Bets. Besides, who wouldn't want the front row seat to your big show? Planning any dramatic spinouts for us? Inquiring minds just gotta know!”
BLACK BETTY (Over Radio)
“You know, it ain’t ever too late to trade in that relic for an announcer gig. They’re all about big talk. You’d fit right in.”
SIOUXSIE SIX
“Got a lot more than big talk for you today.”
BLACK BETTY (Over Radio)
“Yeah? Got your big girl pants on, do ya? How about you try to keep up.”
[The Banshee's engines scream louder, the pace quickens, and the racers jostle for the lead.]
HENRY (HANK) (Over Radio)
“Redtail! Redtail incoming! Everyone scatter!”
SIOUXSIE SIX
“Dammit! Where?”
[The piercing whine of the Redtail's engines joins the cacophony. Energy beams lash out, zipping past the spinners, disintegrating whatever they touch.]
BLACK BETTY (Screaming over Radio)
“It’s on my tail! I can't shake it! Gonna take it for a walk. Catch you at the finish line!”
SIOUXSIE SIX
“Bets, veer right! Use those buildings as cover!”
[A loud explosion. The sound of shattering metal and sizzling energy beams. The Spiderbite crashes with a deafening boom.]
SIOUXSIE SIX (Voice filled with dread)
“Betty! NO!”
HENRY (HANK)
“Sioux, stay focused! The race ain't over. Betty’s gone. We have to slip that Redtail!”
SIOUXSIE SIX (Tears in her voice)
“Fuck the Redtail, Hank. Consol says she ain’t flatlined. She’s still alive in there! I’m not leaving without her!”
[The Banshee comes to a grinding halt amidst the swirling dust and debris. Siouxsie’s boots thud against the ground, every step desperate and resolute. The Redtail’s energy beams streak down, missing but narrowly. The hum of Hank’s drone steadily approaches.]
SIOUXSIE SIX (Internal Monologue)
“You hear that? Yup. That’s the sound of everything going to hell. I lose more first place finishes that way. What else am I going to do, though? I can’t just leave Betty here. Buried under rubble, a sitting duck for that thing and Lord knows what else. I can’t. So, I’m gonna do what any real Death Racer worth their stripes would do in a situation like this. Become a big goddamn hero and lose this race.
Alright, Sioux, deep breaths. It’s do or die. You can do this. LET’S GO!”
[Gunshots as Siouxsie fires at the Redtail. Each bullet seems to just bounce off or get absorbed, having no discernible effect.]
HENRY (HANK) (Over Radio)
“Sioux! What the hell are you doing?! Guns akimbo on a Redtail? Get back in the fucking Banshee!”
SIOUXSIE SIX (Shouting over the noise)
“Not without Betty, you hear!?”
[The crunch of metal as Siouxsie reaches Betty’s wrecked spinner.]
BLACK BETTY (Groaning)
“Damn it, Siouxsie... Can’t a girl die in peace?”
SIOUXSIE SIX (Voice filled with fierce determination)
“Quit your whining. I ain't leaving without you. Can you walk?”
BLACK BETTY
“I… I don’t think that’s happening.”
[Dragging noises as Siouxsie tries to move Betty, who's clearly injured and unable to walk.]
SIOUXSIE SIX (Internal Monologue)
"Come on legs, don’t fail me now. This old girl’s heavy, and those lasers are getting closer. Lucky thing that these robots are so poorly tuned these days. Can’t aim worth a shit. Seriously, though, I swear. If I get us out of this, drinks are on me. The party will keep on going till my very last dime.”
SIOUXSIE SIX (Laboured)
“Fucking knew you were going to crash.”
BLACK BETTY
“Yeah, yeah. You think ‘I told ya so’s’ can wait a bit? I ain’t going to let the last thing I hear be your voice gloating about me gettin’ splashed by some flying trash-can.”
SIOUXSIE SIX
“Gotta make sure I get my licks in while I can…”
BLACK BETTY
“While I can? That… that ain’t too encouraging, girl. Going to need you to be a bit more positive than that. Think your bedside manner could use a little work.”
SIOUXSIE SIX
“Yeah, well, I’m not a doctor… sure as hell ain’t your nurse, neither.”
[Sound of Hank’s drone getting closer, its tiny engines buzzing loudly.]
HENRY (HANK) (Over Radio)
“Siouxsie, strap Betty in and get the hell out! I’ll distract this damn thing.”
[Music blares from the drone, a raucous punk rock track that echoes through the ruins. The Redtail’s attention shifts to the drone, its energy beams now chasing the smaller machine.]
BLACK BETTY (Gasping)
“Hank… that's... that’s my jam!”
SIOUXSIE SIX (With a short laugh)
“Are we taking song requests now?”
HENRY (HANK) (Over Radio)
“I do what I can.”
SIOUXSIE SIX (Strapping Betty into the Banshee)
“Hang in there, Bets. Stop your squirmin’. Just gotta strap you in… [click of the seatbelt/straps] There. Good to go.”
[The Banshee’s engine roars back to life, kicking up even more dirt and debris.]
BLACK BETTY
“Siouxsie... thank you. I mean it.”
SIOUXSIE SIX (With her signature grin)
“Don’t mention it. Just promise to owe me one, okay? Or go ahead and pay it forward.”
BLACK BETTY (Weakly)
“Smuggler’s code? Didn’t think you were old enough to know it.”
SIOUXSIE SIX
“More Death Racers should. Now, let’s get the fuck out of here before that Redtail calls it’s friends. Hank, we’re coming in hot.”
[The Banshee speeds off, its powerful engines drowning out all other sounds.]
SIOUXSIE SIX (Internal Monologue)
“The Warzone. A place where death can come at us any moment of any damn day. But that day wasn’t going to be today. Could have been, though. That’s why it’s so damn important we fight tooth and nail for each other. Win at all costs, just as long as that cost isn’t leaving a man down.
For what it’s worth, and you might be wondering, no racers ended up dead today. I’d make it over the finish line myself at a modest sixth place, too. Not bad, given the complications. Dixon’s Brickhouse kept running despite crashing headlong into that toppled building, too. They even managed to pull Jackson out of that heap thanks to Dix and his impromptu demolition derby-ing. Lost two spinners today, but that’s a small price, really. What’s most important is that the Death Races today would inspire our legion for another season of raids, like they always do. It’s a tough job, but what isn’t out here? Until we get back what’s ours, our home, we’ll be living hard. Glory-hounding the virtues of guts, grit and gunpowder. That’s what it means to be a Texan in this wild, wild fucking wasteland. Toodle-oo.”
[FADE OUT]